Why Some People Live by Lists and Others Live by the Ocean 🌊
North Beach, Point Reyes, California
Why Some People Live by Lists and Others Live by the Ocean
Understanding why we all regulate life differently
Have you ever noticed that some people live by their to-do lists, while others feel alive standing by the ocean, driving with the windows down, or listening to music that makes them forget what time it is?
For a long time, I didn’t understand this difference.
I would ask people what they were doing over the weekend, and most would say chores, errands, cleaning, catching up on things.
And I would think… why not go to the beach? Why not go somewhere beautiful? Why not feel life while you can?
It used to confuse me, because I also do chores. I clean my house, I go shopping, I do laundry, I pay bills just like everyone else.
But I fit those things in between living, not the other way around.
Over time I started realizing that people are wired differently, not just in personality, but in how their nervous system feels safe.
Some people feel calm when life is organized.
Some people feel calm when life feels alive.
Psychology actually has words for these differences.
Some people are high in conscientiousness, which means they feel better when things are in order, planned, and under control.
Other people are high in openness and absorption, which means they feel better when they can experience beauty, music, nature, and the present moment deeply.
Neither way is wrong.
They are just different ways the brain learned to relax.
People who need order often relax after everything is done.
People who need freedom relax when they feel connected to life.
Life experience can shape this too.
When you have been through times where you had to be strong, responsible, and in control for a long time, sometimes you come out of that realizing that control does not guarantee safety.
And when you realize that, something shifts.
You start wanting to feel the wind, the sun, the music, the moment.
Not because you don’t care about responsibility, but because you understand how precious it is to feel alive.
Some people regulate by making lists.
Some people regulate by watching the ocean.
Some people need both.
I have learned that I am someone who needs both, but I will always choose the ocean first, and fit the list in after.
My favorite Beach Essentials
My Favorite List Making Essentials
